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The Desperation Dinner Party
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The Desperation Dinner Party

Extremely low effort, very high reward.

Erica Adler
Jan 23
2
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The Desperation Dinner Party
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Hi there,

How are you over there in your kitchen? Last week, in mine, I had an hour and very little energy to throw together a gathering for ten friends on Tuesday evening, and thus, the Desperation Dinner Party was born.

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Well, actually, the concept first came to me a couple months ago when my first trimester woes were in full swing and a long-planned dinner party for Quentin’s colleagues snuck up on me. At the time, I could barely get myself out of bed, let alone into the kitchen but I was loath to cancel. I managed to pull it off, exerting as little effort (and inducing as little nausea) as possible, and was thrilled to find that the joy of hosting far outweighed my physical discomfort at the time.

Prior to last week’s little gathering with friends, I was feeling much more like myself, but I was heading into a very busy workweek and was running short on time. In fact, I had just an hour to get everything ready for this gathering of ten; perfect conditions to put my little Desperation Dinner Party method to the test! And I’m happy to report it was a resounding success.

Interested in hosting a low effort gathering in your own home? Amazing. Here are my hard and fast rules (or loose guidelines, if you’re wild, but I’m a type-A gal and cannot resist a good list of rules) for hosting a Desperation Dinner Party of your very own.

A little sneak preview of rule 5.

  1. We’re not grocery shopping. That’s right. We’ll get to the main meal in a moment, but when it comes to apps and drinks, we’re using what we have at home. Nuts, olives, pickles, and a bag of chips all make perfectly acceptable snacks to warm up your guests’ appetites. Maybe you have one or some of those items already stocked at home? But if there’s nothing snack-worthy hanging out in our fridge & pantry larders, we’re skipping the apps all together, or alternatively skipping down to rule 5.

  2. We’re not cleaning. At most, we’re engaging in a loose tidy. You know the kind I mean—tidying where we hide that overwhelming stack of mail on our countertops behind a shower curtain in our tubs. But otherwise, we’re turning off our overhead lighting, firing up a couple candles, and trusting that no one will notice our crusty stovetops. My friends didn’t clock mine, or at least they were polite enough not to point it out! And speaking of candles…

  3. We’re not setting the table. We’re having guests eat off their laps on our couches (or floors)! You know I love a good tablescape as much as the next gal, but today, we are absolutely skipping tedious floral arranging and fussy table-setting. We’re putting plates and cutlery out in a stack (disposable is fine!) at the end of the countertop and letting our friends help themselves. And we’re leaning on low lighting and a couple choicely placed candles for ambiance.

  4. We’re not cooking. We’re ordering in, baby! Last week, I had four large pizzas delivered from our trusty spot down the road. There’s also Thai, Chinese, Tacos, or a big baked ziti from your local Italian spot—the possibilities are truly endless as long as you have a restaurant-or-two within delivery or takeout range from your home. I will admit to stretching this rule a bit last week: I wanted a veggie side to go along with our pizzas, so I threw some arugula in a bowl, tossed it with lemon juice, olive oil, some balsamic, parm, and S&P, but that was a two minute endeavor so I hope you’ll forgive my slight transgression.

  5. We are accepting some help. Our friends are offering to bring something? Amazing. We’re taking them up on it. And we know this is the most important rule on this list! Last week, my pals supplied the drinks, and Daniele very generously offered to bring dessert. She went absolutely above and beyond and supplied our group with the cutest little sundae bar you ever did see. Don’t believe me? See it here!

Not only are we having guests sit on the couch, we’re throwing some comfort TV on mute in the background (or not! this is a polarizing one.)

That’s the Desperation Dinner Party in a nutshell. And yes, the phrasing desperation may be a bit dramatic here—I know this method may look a lot like many of the dinner parties you’ve hosted or attended in the past, it does for me! But I absolutely couldn’t resist the alliteration; Desperation Dinner Party, rolls right off the tongue, don’tcha think?

Ultimately, I think hosting folks in our homes should feel extremely approachable and fulfilling, not stressful and overwhelming—it’s this mindset the Micro Dinner Parties were born of. So if the overwhelm of hosting is getting in your way, hopefully the Desperation Dinner Party method lowers that barrier to entry, because there truly is so much joy to be found in welcoming friends and family into our homes.

Okay, we’ve more than covered it for this week. As always, wishing you a lovely, well-fed week ahead.

xx

Erica

Want more? I’m so flattered! You can also follow me on Instagram or TikTok, or check out my tips-laden e-book collection. The newest addition, Meal Prep Made Simple, is available to order now!

The Fresh Letter is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

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